On The Road
We didn't go travelling for the Thanksgiving holidays. We intelligently stayed home, created the feast, and later visited my brother's house in the neighborhood. It was a wonderful day. No insane travels for us. We stayed home.
The Monday after Thanksgiving was a school holiday, and Cassie wanted to visit a college out-of-state that was six hours away. Since she had a free day that Monday, we had decided to visit the school on that day. We would arrive the night before, visit the college in the morning, and manage the 6-hour commute in the afternoon. No problems.
Now, I don't know why I didn't put 2 and 2 together earlier. Sure, we didn't travel for Thanksgiving, and we had stayed home on that busiest travel day, the day before Thanksgiving, BUT, all those people would need to return home again, and the NEXT busiest travel day would be Sunday. We left early on Sunday, to allow for the congestion of returning travelers. Our 6-hour trip swelled to an 11-hour marathon, in the rain of course! As we travelled east to our destination in the New England states, my son was travelling west to Pittsburgh. His normal 5 hour commute mushroomed into over 7 hours.
Hollywood likes to portray congestion as a source of frustration, we chose to see it as an adventure. My son and I spent alot of time on our hands-free sets that trip as he drove west and I drove east. We made a game of seeing who got up to 10 mph first; we more often were going 5 mph. Since we had no other distractions - other than the traffic - we discussed traffic, Xmas plans, life goals. I always liked talking one-on-one with the kids when we were in the car together. Often we could have private conversations then, that could not be discussed around the family dinner table. My kids knew that I would ask direct questions - how are your marks? - how is your friend? - are you interested in anyone? - how are your teachers? - what was the movies/show/game like? - who was there? - any drugs, drinking, sex? - to allow an opening for anything that might be on their minds. I do remember one incredibly cold night that my second son decided to take advantage of this private time together - just when we had pulled into our driveway. At 13, he was entering puberty, noticing girls, and worrying if he was normal. I had just turned off the car engine, and we sat in the gathering cold as I honestly answered his questions and concerns. When we finally walked in the house from the cold, he was happy and relieved to be normal. But these confidences were not the norm. More often than not they were light, happy moments in which we connected for just a few moments, before the child burst out of his seat for his next activity.
